Very likely this is because all of this house buying BS is as foriegn to me as the idea of people eating baked snails....voluntarily. Eww. I mean EWW!! Seriously, people! That's like Indiana Jones food! Right up there with the chilled monkey brains!

My house closing failed to take place this Friday. (Woe and alas, getting my ass in my house on time seemed much less important to the title company than their bonny three day vacation plans.) Bad Jacki for trying to screw that up on them!

At least B got to start school. She says she loves it. I am very relieved. They aren;t as touchy feely liberal as the NY schools, and something tells me that will be a good thing for her. For me however...lol...I have come to the dreadful understanding that I am a witch who has just moved into the Bible Belt. Certainly not the buckle...dead center DEEP SOUTH middle of the bible belt...but a notch or two in to be sure. Within 24 hrs of hanging around here I was convinced I'd be nailed to a cross and set on fire before dawn the next day.

Okay, so I'm paranoid. Maybe. But I AM pretty out there...but one person attempted to comfort me by telling me these two facts: 1. Asheville is number 3 in the country for having more gaysw per capita. *snicker* And Asheville's website has something called "The Freaks of Asheville" linked off their site leading to a large bohemian underground lifestyle full of radical weirdoes.

"Gee...uh...thanks!" I said to my normal, tall cut-from-Colgate-ads mattress salesman. So it took me a while to realize he thought I was a radical lesbian. I felt very butch. I wanted to release a manly fart, but alas my IHOP pancakes hadn't hit me just yet.

*giggle*

I have to laugh about it. And I am tired of playing it safe with B too. Today she was playing with my in the pool and started screaming that I was a wicked witch. I told her to stop that I really didn't like her talking to me like that. She didn't get it.

So being the adult I am I start taunting in return: "Bianca's an evil, wicked Christian!" After explaining what a Christian was (*head desk*)I explained to her that people were good and bad equally no matter shape, size, shade or religion.

Mix lesson gently with repitition and two aspirin. Repeat as necessary...
*HELP*